Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
