Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
