Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
