No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
