I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
