Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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