I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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