I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
