After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
