Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
