We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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