Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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