I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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