he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
