I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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