oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
