He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
ok first of all what the fuck
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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