I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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