I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
