I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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