you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize