im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
