My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize