Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
