i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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