I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
