it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
