My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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