my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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