If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
