the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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