how can u be prego again
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
