I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
