Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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