if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
