spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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