I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize