Will you blow on my dice?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
