I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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