you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
