im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
