I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
