FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
