Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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