Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
