I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
