I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
