he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
