The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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