yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
