Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
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