This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
two words...techno handjob
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wish there were birth control emojis
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
