I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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