I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Mom said you looked used
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
