I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
