alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
