dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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