Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
