I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
