Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
FUCK WHALES
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
