I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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