I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
