Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
