a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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