So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
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He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
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Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.