I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
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i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
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Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.