There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I wear drunk well.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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