Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.