Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes

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(409): so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes http://tfl.nu/m5en

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(972): View more from Texas

Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.

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(972): Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition. http://tfl.nu/d2b2

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(518): View more from New York

i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur

(413): View more from Massachusetts

did it start talking like on Land before time?

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(518): i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur (413): did it start talking like on Land before time? http://tfl.nu/4v1u

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(480): View more from Arizona

you are hot. that is all.

(1-480): View more from Arizona

who is this?

(480): View more from Arizona

the delivery driver from silvermine.

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(480): you are hot. that is all. (1-480): who is this? (480): the delivery driver from silvermine. http://tfl.nu/dvq3

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...

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(919): I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy... http://tfl.nu/yiqn

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(913): View more from Kansas

I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.

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(913): I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough. http://tfl.nu/u5ru

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(260): View more from Indiana

Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?

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(260): Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on? http://tfl.nu/ottv

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(802): View more from Vermont

She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.

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(802): She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave. http://tfl.nu/huhd

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(613): View more from Ontario

there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.

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(613): there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays. http://tfl.nu/8dlv

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(574): View more from Indiana

It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.

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(574): It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later. http://tfl.nu/qtru

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it

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(717): And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it http://tfl.nu/tlm9

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.

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(502): I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high. http://tfl.nu/gsqh

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(515): View more from Iowa

I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.

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(515): I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower. http://tfl.nu/kyot

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(601): View more from Mississippi

This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!

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(601): This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK! http://tfl.nu/gkpr

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(310): View more from California

So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...

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(310): So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off... http://tfl.nu/wmce

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