Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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