Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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