Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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