Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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