Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
