Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
