It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You're a waste of cheezeits
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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