You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
third nipple confirmed
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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